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Prime Day is almost over and now that we’ve seen all the tech deals… and maybe spent some money on them. How about see if we can gift-shop? Or, I don’t know, scroll through the list and see what catches our eyes.
Amazon is full of wacky items. And a lot of them got a 10-20% discount on Prime Day, so… why not spend some money for stuff we don’t need?
1. Pizza blanket
Yeah, we’ve seen unicorns on bedsheets before… But this image here — this, ladies and gentlemen, is proof that rainbows are nothing but unicorn gas.
3. Face facemasks
Here’s hoping that we won’t have to wear these for much longer. So, while we are in the process of slowly recovering from restrictions and mask-wearing, why not celebrate with a fake face on your face? No, that’s not creepy at all. What do you mean by “Have I seen Hannibal”?
4. Chicken harness
Is it Flubber? Is it The Blob? Well, it’s certainly disgusting, but it will make cleaning your keyboard much easier. It’s a sticky blob of gel that can wrap itself into these hard-to-reach spots and pull out annoying specks of dust and crumbs.
6. Unicorn bot
What’s cooler than building your very own robot? Building your very own robot unicorn! It’s got a multi-colored LED horn and can have poses and movements programmed in by an accompanying app for your phone or tablet. Give us your best, Terminator!
7. King Butt farting toy
POV: scrolling through Amazon.com and spotting this toy. “Hold on, is that a butt?”. No, sir, that is King Butt. And yes, he farts — with 20 different sounds in fact. Not enough? There’s a smelly card included in the package.
Yeah… Instant buy?
8. Build-on brick mug
Hey, you got a thumb drive I can borrow? Thumbs up, my bud — there you go. Be sure to give it back when you are done, it’s a part of my 10-piece collection.
10. “I’m Thinking” cap
Hey, hey, it’s not just geek humor. In this digital age, everyone has been greeted by the ever-annoying loading circle. I thought my plan said “Unlimited” on it, Verizon!
In any case, this will go well on your head if you are a “man (or woman) of a few words”-type character.
11. Cat earphone holder
Dog people insist that dogs live to serve their humans, while cats are just useless couch potatoes. Well, checkmate, dog lovers! This cat stand can… hold stuff. Like your AirPods! It doesn’t really charge them but… it looks funny! Hey, it can hold a pencil, too, see? It’s multifunctional! Do you see a dog stand on Prime Day section? No, you do not!
12. The useless box
No, it’s not an iPhone prototype. Ha, beat you to that joke! It’s a box… with a switch on it. You flip the switch to turn it on. You know what happens? A tiny arm comes out and turns the switch off.
Hey, this box is basically me at work. What?
13. The NoPhone
Well, I just wasted the “is this an iPhone” joke on the previous entry, so now I am out of cliches. The NoPhone is not a phone, but it looks like a phone. It doesn’t have a screen, or a battery, so it’s not really a problem that it ships without a charger. Get it as a gift to play a cruel joke on your kids, I guess? Ah, they will be resentful teenagers soon turn to hating you anyway — might as well give them a reason for it.
14. Joyleop Classic-shaped case
It’s 2021 and it’s truly astounding how far technology has gone. Phones are so slim, so small, so easy to hold and carry around, right? What’s that you say? “That’s terrible”?
Ah, I get it — the good ol’ days were always better. Well, here’s a case that just stinks of nostalgia — turn your expensive new iPhone 12 Pro into a cellphone of the 90s because why not! Hey, at least it’s protective!
15. Pop-it fidget case
I am one that constantly fidgets with the mute switch of the iPhone. It’s just so clicky and satisfying and sturdy. Am I worried I might wear it out and break it? I would, but it’s company property.
Now, if you want something less-expensive for your fidgety hands, here’s a case that simulates the bubble-popping feeling. Ah, infinite bubble wrap! Is this heaven?
16. Cleaver case
Falling head-first into the category of “cases I can’t put in my pocket, but that’s funny!” — we have a cleaver-shaped case. A good gift for a butcher, I guess? Just make sure you don’t try to cut steaks with it. Also, don’t pull out your phone out on the street before warning everyone around you I guess. On second thought, don’t take this out of the house.
17. Patrick AirPods case
The AirPods case spawned a plethora of fun and interesting wraps for it. Here’s a couple that we found in the Prime Day listings — it’s Patrick! Hey, at least we now know he does have something inside his head — an AirPods lid.
18. Bluetooth beanie
OK, it’s Summer now, but why not get this to prep for winter — it keeps your head warm and it can rock your favorite tunes through a set of built-in Bluetooth earbuds. Will it sound good? Probably not. Is it a funny gift for a person you’ve absolutely no idea what to buy for? Well, it’s a conversation starter for sure.
They’ll never use it, but if they hate it and never invite you to another birthday party, that’s one less gift to buy per year!
19. Portable neck fan
Ah, back to in-season accessories! Remember those obnoxious neck-mounted personal speakers? Yeah, not the best thing to see on the street. So, in the same spirit, why not have neck-mounted personal fans? It’ll blow fresh air directly up your cheeks and it will also make sure that your BO is more effectively spread around the room during hot summer days.
These will be a hit at the DMV!
20. Furbo Dog Camera with Treat Tosser