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An ode to the stake gun and the macabre glory of sticking dudes to walls

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I fell in love with the archetypical stake gun in Crackdown. The extremely mid-2000s GTA-lite adventure remains one of the greatest B games of all time, to the point that Microsoft was happy to bundle access to the Halo 3 beta in the box. Like many 16-year olds who talked their parents into a trip to Target, I figured the disc itself was pure collateral. I wanted nothing to do with Crackdown; I simply wanted to fly Banshees, toss plasma grenades, and participate in an extremely elongated hype cycle targeted at my exact age and demographic. (I was also buying a lot of Halo-branded Mountain Dew Code Red at the time.)

At least that’s how I felt until I used Crackdown’s HRX Harpoon, a weapon released in the game’s DLC that could shoot a nasty razor-tipped lance all the way across the map.

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